There are many reasons why individuals in a relationship are struggling. Things may have come to a crisis point where communication has broken down to the extent that they feel shut down, not listened to and emotionally grieving for what used to be.
As a person centred counsellor I would aim to encourage each person to have the opportunity to share what is troubling them, in a space where they can express their confusion, and emotions that are impinging on their relationship. I would ask each person to engage in a way that allows them to hear their partners pain and needs.
I also am very aware that what we bring to a relationship is impacted by our past experiences and attachments and how we respond to loss or conflict is learned. It is helpful therefore for partners to understand why certain behaviours triggers negative reactions.
As a counsellor I am non-judgemental where each person is shown the same respect and I am there to facilitate and offer a way of communicating that is helpful and allows reflection and time to rediscover the connection that drew you together in the first place.